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Writer's pictureThe Busted Nib

Food cologne

Deep thoughts, right here.


In a brief departure from posts about pens & stationery, I want to share a thought. It occurred to me the other day for some reason that ladies wear perfume to enhance their attractiveness to men, or perhaps to complete the picture of someone other people would like to be around...as opposed to, say, someone who smells like they're allergic to soap, or like a pair of sweaty gym socks. Sometimes, its purely for phenomenal reasons. Perfume sales are BIG business!


And yet, it is also said that "the quickest way to a man's heart is right through is stomach" (perhaps with a big iron skewer, or a carving-knife). So...chime in on this one, if you will...wouldn't it make more sense if, instead of the sweet, flowery scents sold in cosmetics shops, perfume smelled like pizza? Wouldn't we men react to that much more positively than to the frou-frou bouquet of fancy perfume scents?




Then again...it further occurred to me that this might not always be appropriate. What if you happened to be the outdoorsy type? Would you really want to go out camping or backpacking in bear country, smelling like a warm, freshly-baked meatloaf? What if you went on a fishing trip, where there were coyotes or wolves, smelling like pot roast? Certainly, a professional diver or marine biologist wouldn't want to get into the ocean smelling like BBQ.


Hmm..perhaps perfume is overrated?


Or maybe it's just food itself that's overrated. I got tricked into cooking up a huge crock pot of my home made chili for the office potluck, and have to start cooking it late tonight when I get off work. A co-worker asked me the other day if I'd like to contribute the home made chili I've talked about before to the January 2020 monthly office potluck. Thinking that this was, you know, an actual potluck where everyone contributes a dish, and that I'd only be bringing my ordinary sized crock pot full of it to contribute to a whole smorgasbord of other food, I said "sure". Five minutes later, an email circulated around the office saying, "John's bringing chili for the potluck this month. Everyone else sign up to bring a condiment." Not--even--kidding. It seems I am expected to buy enough beef and other ingredients to feed 15-20 people all evening long, over the course of an 8+ hour work shift. That's not what "potluck" means.


This suddenly just got depressing.

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The Busted Nib
The Busted Nib
Feb 03, 2020

A great story!! 😊 Am glad you weren't "appetizing"! BTW, loved your last letter. I'm almost done with a reply, at long last. The Xmas season was brutal at work, and I got behind. Avoid the bears!

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Ursula Rodgers
Ursula Rodgers
Feb 02, 2020

When my kids and I went to Yellowstone for the first time, we were driving around after lunch and saw a grizzly out in a field. We stopped the car and got out to take some pictures (we were well outside the recommended distance and intended to stay that way). But as we stood there talking about the possibility of a bear running in our direction, I told them they had nothing to worry about - I was the slowest and probably smelled like a ham sandwich. I forget what they'd had, but it wasn't finger food. Smart kids.

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cdunn1138
Jan 25, 2020

Sounds like you got a little time on your hands.... 😐 Forget about bears and coyotes and sharks, if I were you (and were you wearing Meatloaf #5 by Calvin Klein) I'd be more concerned about those hounds in your own home! 😄

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